Bridezilla Loose!

Today is Saturday and I awake with ease knowing that we only have one wedding today. Morning weather update: 30% chance of rain with a high of 90 degrees. There are some weddings where I wake excited for the couple getting married and I can't wait to bring it all together for them. This is not one of those. This is the kind of wedding where I wake excited to know that after today I will no longer have to answer their daunting emails and shrill phone calls! Its not very often that I actually get bridezilla material. In fact, the moms are usually much worse then the actual couples I work with. Today's bride though, today's bride is reason to call the producers of the show bridezilla and say "Boy do I have a bride for you!" Our bride today hails from New York City. She has some very unconventional ideas and a very big attitude! I arrive at the office at 11am, which is my usual time. The front desk staff tells me as soon as I walk in that she's been looking for me, then the sales staff tells me, then the banquet staff does... Clearly she is a bride in need this morning so I call her room immediately. The utter emergency stated somewhere through her rampage on the phone is that she would like some bottled waters. Bottled water... I think I can manage that. In fact, any person she had talked to this morning could have managed that for her. Understanding how parched the bride is, I have room service bring the waters to her room asap. She, in return, sends him back with a to-do list for none other than yours truly.

Here's something you should probably know. Technically I am the catering sales manager and not a wedding planner. The difference is that I am here to lend a helping hand when in need but not here to take care of booking their vendors or anything else really. I can see now that our New York City Bridezilla is unclear on this fact. My schedule is pretty empty today so I go through her to-do list like a good little coordinator. She's requested I call her vendors. I just got off the phone with the Steel Drum guy for the ceremony. I explain to him that our bride is a bit uneasy and wanted me to touch base with all her vendors to see when they will be coming. Imagine my surprise and confusion when steel drum guy has a very strong southern accent but steel drum guy is confused himself. He states how it was discussed with the bride this morning what time he will be there and that time isn't until oh about 3 hours from now. He also says "Unless god takes me from this earth I plan on being there" (in his southern accent no less). So I move on down the list; Place cards in order, check. Ribbons around fans, check. Table numbers made because she forgot hers, check. Call Aunt Martha to make sure she has directions the woman is crazy, check…

Everything is in place and we are awaiting the arrival of guess who, our New York City Bridezilla of course. Who is, if you remember, staying in the hotel. Knowing she’s not stuck in traffic I give her room a ring. I am told she and her bridesmaids will be down in 15 minutes. 45 minutes go by and I now have all the bridal party… wait, where’s dad? Our bride’s escort is missing and searching for him delayed us by 10 more minutes. NOW I have all the bridal party… wait, where are everyone’s bouquets? 10 more minutes for the bridesmaid to ride the elevator back up and grab the flowers. NOW I have all the bridal party in place… CRAP where did Dad go again!? Against my wishes for the groom to stay in his place, he searches the hotel for dad. NOWWW I have all the bridal party in place!

Music is playing and the parents saunter down the aisle first. I am then radioed by my assistant who explains to me the bride has decided she wants the groomsmen to kneel on one knee and kiss the hand of the bridesmaid they have been assigned, before escorting them down the aisle. The gentlemen gripe but still do as they’re told. No doubt in fear of what may happen to them if they don’t! Our New York City Bridezilla and dad are next to go and I get them lined up in front of the aisle then fluff her dress. She refuses to hold her dads arm and instead wants him to hold out his hand as she places hers on top, like the royalty that she is. Down the aisle she goes, (only an hour late), and another Diva is married!